Whenever I try and tell anyone about this movie, people always respond with, "Oh, Toy Soldiers? Isn't that the one where all the little toy robots voiced by Tommy Lee Jones attack people and stuff?" to which I usually respond, "What?! No! Fuck, no!...that's Small Soldiers!"...and then I stab them. In all seriousness though, this has been one of my favorites for a long time and it should be yours too, dammit, cause it kicks ass! I may be somewhat biased though cause I grew up with this movie, but I digress...
Toy Soldiers is the 1991 film adaptation of a 1988 novel by William P. Kennedy which I did not read. (when I was like 12, I got like 20 pages into it and decided the movie was good enough and reading was for chumps!) Basically, a boarding school gets taken over by terrorists. This boarding school houses the children of some of the richest and most powerful people in the country. The problem is, some of these kids are the sort that have been kicked out of all manner of other schools for basically being huge pains in the ass. This naturally does not bode well for the terrorists. Awesomeness ensues.
This movie is pretty much Die Hard in a school, but better than Masterminds. Masterminds can suck it! Sure the movie is a little predictable, and some of the effects are cheesy, but it makes up for it by being ridiculously violent! Also, there are plenty of familiar faces: Sean Astin, Louis Gossett Jr, Wil Wheaton, Denholm Elliott (Marcus Brody from the Indiana Jones movies), R. Lee Ermey, Jerry Orbach, Mason Adams, and that guy who played the stoner brother Kenny in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead...oh shut up, you don't know his name! Anyway, I view this movie as one of those rare gems that seemingly no one has ever heard of before, but is well worth checking out.
Hell just watch the trailer!
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