Curse Of Chucky Review Podcast

Let's keep our horror train a rolling! The week we review the latest in the Child's Play series, Curse Of Chucky. We answer the hard hitting questions like;  Is it a sequel or reboot? Does Chucky look good or like crap? How many Martinez's are in this? And so much more! Facebook! ITunes! Youtube!

Episode 32 - Curse Of Chucky

Movie of the Week: Now You See Me

"An FBI agent and an Interpol detective track a team of illusionists who pull of bank heists during their performances and reward their audiences with money." IMDb

Ok, I love magic...especially card magic.  I've studied it for years, and have practiced for untold hours.  I like practical tricks with real decks and real sleight of hand.  Or, if it's stage magic, I like seeing it because you have an idea of how it's done, but you're not absolutely sure, and that's why it's great.  The movie The Prestige was the perfect representation of this.  That movie would get a 5 star rating from me all day long.

Then we have this piece of shit...

I'm gonna be brief here cause I really don't feel like spending all day telling you why this movie is terrible, why it fails as a working plot, and so on and so forth.  I just want make one gripe and then I'll shut up about it.  You can't show me how certain practical tricks are done, and make that part of your plot working things out cause it's all a big magic trick...and then in the same scene show me tricks that are completely and utterly impossible and are clearly just movie special effects.  "Oh look this rabbit was in the box the whole time cause, check out this mirror that made the box look empty!  Now I'm gonna turn the rabbit into a hat and float away in a cgi bubble."   Fuck you.

The only reason this is getting 2 stars out of me is because it had a good cast, and the movie was visually appealing.  However the rest of the movie I find pointless and frankly kind of insulting, especially given the ending.

Movie of the Week: The Jerk

"An idiotic man struggles to make it on his own in St. Louis."IMDb

This Jerk is one of those movies that I'd always heard about, but I'd never gotten around to watching myself.  Well the other night, I'm trying to find something to watch, and my pizza is getting cold.  I'm scrolling and scrolling through on On Demand menu well I come across The Jerk.  I see the tagline, "He was raised a poor black child..." and I'm like, "Sold!"  Just that idea alone gave me somewhat of an insight into what this movie is gonna be like, and I wanted to see where it goes.  So I did...it was ok.

The plot of this movie is very basic.  It's honestly a rags to riches story.  But instead of an endearing character that the audience can really identify with...he's just an idiot.  Now in a raucous comedy like this, it doesn't really matter that we identify with the character.  We just know he's an idiot, and we're gonna sit here for an hour and a half watching as much funny idiotic stuff that they can shove into our faces as possible.  It's just that kind of movie.  However I'd like to point out that it is possible to both identify with a character, and have the comedy being shoved in your face part as well.  Pretty much take any one of Jim Carrey's comedies (other than the Ace Ventura Movies, or Cable Guy...Ok, so I pretty much mean just Liar Liar, Bruce Almighty, and Yes Man).  Those movies have a main character you care about, and the movie is also full of hilarious slapstick.  We can have both!  But I digress...

This movie just didn't knock it out of the part for me as far as what I'll call, "bringing the funny."  And it's not because of the movies age I don't think because there are plenty of movies that are older and hilarious.  I just don't think this movie could make up it's mind on what it wanted to be.  It's clearly a farce, but not to the extremes of say Airplane.  Then again, Airplane was technically a spoof of the movie Airport so I guess it's unfair to compare the two...along with all the Mel Brooks films I was just gonna mention, but now can't...damn.  I don't know really how to describe why I didn't think this movie worked as well as a full on spoof.  They left it somewhere in the middle between having a character you care about, and not giving a shit because everything is just ridiculous.  Maybe I just don't dig on Steve Martin's style...But then again, I loved Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, which is a movie with characters you can identify with, but also has a scene where Steve Martin is wearing an eye patch and then wet's himself at the dinner table...So I dunno.  Maybe there just wasn't enough comedy to fill out the length of the movie, cause the trailer looks hilarious!  You've stumped me movie.  Good job.  2 stars. 

Wait!  Blazing Saddles!  Not a spoof...characters you root for and care about...total zany farce!  Boom!  Take that Jerk!

42 Review Podcast

42? I missed the other 41! Dan, Bobby and I check out this biopic. Does it stand up to the legend? Tune into this super short, under 30 minute review and listen to the thought of people who don't watch that much sports.

Episode 26 - 42

Jack Reacher Review Podcast

Tom Cruise is JACK REACHER in this non-stop snooze fest with Jack Shit happening in it. So we talk about tranies instead. Give it a listen, see what you think, laugh, love, live, levitate.

Episode 21 - Jack Reacher

Monday Review: How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Finale

So, I'm gonna do something a little different here than I've done before.  This is a review for a single episode of TV. Specifically, I'm doing the episode "Something New" which is this years season finale of How I Met Your Mother. Ordinarily I discuss a movie or an entire series, but I have my reasons for doing this one so bear with me.  I'll also be partially discussing this season as a whole, but mostly the focus shouldn't stray too far away...or maybe it will.  I'm not a very good writer.  (Blow me)  I'm warning you now, this review will be full of spoilers so if you haven't seen this episode, I wouldn't read any further...I mean why would you?  Maybe you're that guy that wants to ruin things for other people.  I don't know.  Well, I'm not typically that guy so, there ya go.  Consider yourself warned.

This episode was originally supposed to be the series finale. However I guess half way through this season, a couple of the actors renewed their contracts, so now we have to drag this shit out over one more season.  Now don't get me wrong.  I love this show.  It's easily my favorite sit-com, and for good reason.  It's well cast, well written, entertaining, and for the most part really consistent.  But they've been at this for 8 seasons now and everybody just wants to find out who the mother is so we can move on with our lives for fuck's sake!  Even a lot of this entire season felt like they were just wasting time, so I'm really worried that this next season is going to blow...but I'm getting ahead of myself here.

It's now been established that Ted meets the titular mother at Barney and Robin's wedding, or rather, at a train station afterwards.  This entire season has been building up to that moment.  Hell, Barney and Robin's wedding is to take place on May 25th of 2013...Everything was set for that to be the season finale...cause it's May and shit right now!  Buuuut no.  They have pretty much left this story as close to a cliffhanger that a sit-com can really even have, and it's frustrating.  This entire episode was a big cock tease with a bunch of set ups with no pay off.  Now this would be absolutely fine if next week we get the season finale...but dammit, this was the season finale!  So basically they are going to take what could have been accomplished in one more episode next week, and instead, stretch it out over an entire season.  What is this next season even gonna be?!  I guarantee you that the season 9 premiere will be what the season 8 finale should have been...he meets the mother.  But what are they gonna do with the rest of the year?  Is he gonna be trying to get her to fall in love with him?  Is it going to be an echo of season 1, but instead of trying to bang Robin, it's this new girl?  It's a good thought I suppose, but it is not the show I signed up for, neither is it even in keeping with the title of the show!  Okay, I'm gonna take a breath here real quick.  This shit's affecting my blood pressure...Anyway, on to what the episode actually was instead of what it wasn't, or should have been, or whatever.

So, this episode was set up to be the second part of last week's episode, except it wasn't.  As I mentioned earlier, this episode is called "Something New."  Last week's was called "Something Old."  Get it?  'Cause wedding stuff?  This is also a nod to the season 2 finale two-parter which was "Something Borrowed" and "Something Blue."  Those episodes were about Lily and Marshall's wedding...makes sense.  But these episodes weren't really about a wedding.  Should have been...wasn't. (sigh)  In the previous episode Robin goes digging in Central Park for a locket she buried there when she was a teenager;  a locket that she had always planned to have as her "something old" at her wedding...even though Robin has said time and time again in earlier seasons that she never really planned on getting married.  Nice backtracking guys!  So, after digging all day, she finally finds the box.  Meanwhile, Ted has shown up cause Ted always shows up to help Robin with ...whatever, cause that's kind of his thing.  They open the box and it's empty.  Robin starts talking about how the universe is telling her not to get married.  She's having second thoughts, and it starts raining, and she and Ted hold hands.  Essentially they are bringing up that there is still feelings between these two that have not been fully been dealt with.  They've done this too many times now and it's becoming irritating, but that's where that episode ends. The finale then opens up with Barney and Robin together and everything is fine.  I guess that freakout of her's was only there to make us feel bad for Ted, cause we then learn that Ted is moving to Chicago because he still loves Robin and he doesn't think he can handle living around her anymore cause she'll be married to Barney.  Ted reveals this plan to Lily after telling her all about what happened in Central Park.  This is when Lily sheds some light on the whole locket thing.  Apparently right around season 4, just before Ted was gonna marry Stella (I seriously hope you guys have watched the whole series cause I don't feel like explaining myself), Robin gets drunk, cries, talks about how Ted should be marrying her instead of Stella (facepalm) and goes out in Central Park and digs up the locket.  Lily puts it in a pencil box and it gets left at the apartment.  Sooo, it turns out that the locket has been in Ted's possession the entire time. (fanfare)  It sounds like they are setting up for another huge Ted and Robin gesture/relationship trope, even though we all know by now that's impossible...we've known since the first episode.  So what are you doing!?  (UGH!!) But then Ted says he's going to give it to her as a wedding present...ok? But even Lily is like, "be careful Ted (you fucking idiot!)" ...that last part was subtextual.  

Meanwhile, Marshall has forgotten to tell his mother that he's moving to Italy for a year, so he has to go to Minnesota.  It was more filler kind of crap that didn't have much to do with the important Ted stuff of the episode.  He just kept getting tricked by his brother and making excuses for his crazy mom over the phone with Lily.  Something that did bother me though was that they kept switching back and forth between saying they were moving to Rome, and moving to Italy.  Now I know Rome is in Italy so technically both are true. (yeah ya ass!)  It's just they way they did it.  For instance, Lily let's it slip to Marshall's mom that they are moving the "Italy."  Marshall then gets on the phone and his mom is immediately like, "You're moving to Rome?!?!"...and then they keep saying Rome for a while, and then they switch back.  It's like during a redraft of the script they changed a few lines, but forgot to change the rest.  I dunno, it just really stood out to me.  Also, Marshall gets a phone call saying that there is an opening for him to be a judge in New York, so now he's gotta make a choice between his career and Lily's...more shit that doesn't get resolved til, you guessed it, next season. (foghorn)

Anyway the rest of the episode is peppered with Barney and Robin at a restaurant messing with another douchey couple and basically just being perfect for each other and stuff...so again, what was with all that, "I'm not sure if Barney is ready for this!" shit from the last episode?  Meh!

Finally at the very end of the episode we see the "girl with the yellow umbrella" which we all know to be who Ted ends up with.  Like always, we see her boots and the umbrella and stuff, but then something different happens.  The camera pans up and we actually see her face.  The mother has been cast, and we got to see her!  Yaaaay!... It's still bullshit that should have been resolved next week and not next season.  I say again...cock tease.  If you cut out all the peripheral crap that this season has been full of, and just focused on the main story, then we could have had this stuff wrapped up.  Oh well, I've come this far I guess.  I'm not gonna bail on the show now that we're so close...

Doctor Who - "The Crimson Horror" Review

Doctor Who is my Jam. I love this show. Which usually puts me in these blinders and a bias about it in general. But something started to form last season. Something I couldn't talk about because Whovians would  throw a shit fit. Well, here we go. I do not like how Steven Moffat writes. Blasphemy, I know. It's like he doesn't know who to follow in the show. Episodes where the Doctor has been away for 100 years, or that Amy and Rory have been gone 5 years are maddening. Remember when Russell T Davis was the lead writer and the stories would connect? You always saw where the Doctor was next. He would step into the Tardis and the adventure would continue from there. Not years later. As well as, Moffat write as if the last 50 years of Doctor Who didn't happen, and ignores everything in the past... eh, that's a cheap shot, because he does make little nods. Ok, so he brought River Song with, but her story is weak as hell. I felt we should have had at least one god damned episode where she was the companion. Another thing about that episode, Spoilers Ahead!

Zero Dark Thirty Review Podcast

"A chronicle of the decade-long hunt for al-Qaeda terrorist leader Osama bin Laden after the September 2001 attacks, and his death at the hands of the Navy S.E.A.L. Team 6 in May 2011." - IMDB

We watch the most boring movie of last year! Join us as we try to shake the sleepiness brought on by the award winning snooze fest that is Zero Dark Thirty. Will we stay awake long enough to rate the movie? Listen and find out!

Episode 11 - Zero Dark Thirty

Here Comes The Boom Review Podcast

On this weeks show we review Kevin James latest attempt at making a movie. IMDB says it's: "A high school biology teacher looks to become a successful mixed-martial arts fighter in an effort to raise money to prevent extra-curricular activities from being axed at his cash-strapped school." This episode is way shorter than our last one. Hey, think there is something we should review? Tell us in the comments!

Episode 7 - Here Comes The Boom

Dredd Review Podcast

We are back with another review. This week is the remake/reboot movie Dredd, starring Karl Urban as Judge Dredd. The description from IMDB is as follows: "In a violent, futuristic city where the police have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner, a cop teams with a trainee to take down a gang that deals the reality-altering drug, SLO-MO." Listen in to find out what we thought and if it's any better than the '95 Stallone picture.

Episode 5 - Dredd

Ted Review Podcast

On this weeks episode we talk about the film that is Ted. From imdb: "As the result of a childhood wish, John Bennett's teddy bear, Ted, came to life and has been by John's side ever since - a friendship that's tested when Lori, John's girlfriend of four years, wants more from their relationship." Our review is a short one this time, coming in at just under 30 minutes. So give it a listen to see why we rated it the way we did.

Episode 3 - Ted

Zero Hour Pilot Review

"Revolves around a bizarre twist of fate that pulls a man who's spent 20 years as the editor of a skeptics magazine into one of the most compelling conspiracies in human history." - IMDB

Last week, in what I can only describe as their latest attempt to further confuse and annoy me, ABC released their new drama, Zero Hour.  If you were to ask, "Hey, what would it look like if National Treasure and Hellboy got together and had a drunken fling?"  Well here ya go!  Now, I'm not saying that this pairing is necessarily a bad thing.  I mean, there are Nazis, the occult, strange artifacts, crazy maps found in weird places, and even a historical ship full of dead people buried in middle of sno-where!(see what I did there, cause snow?...ah, bite me!)  The opening itself seems kind of dark and exciting and leaves you craving answers.  Based on the introduction of the story alone, this is gonna be some good shit!  However, if this first episode is any indication of how the writing, acting, and dialog is going to be, then we're gonna be disappointed.  I kinda don't know how to describe it other then,well...bad.  It's just really bad.  It's like this first episode should have been three nicely paced episodes, but instead they shoved it all into this clunky mess with no room for us to give a shit about any of these people.  The dialog to me sounds like the verbal representation of someone trying to ride a tricycle up a flight of stairs, and makes just about as much sense.  It's full of trite exchanges like, "I'll do you a solid." "I'm with the FBI!" "I don't trust you lady!" "I'm trained with a gun and licensed to use it!" (I'll post the trailer below. Seriously, try not wanting to punch someone after everything Anthony Edwards says!) That's the most frustrating thing about this show because I feel like the story itself has a lot of potential, because I'm quite intrigued by what is actually going on.  I'm really hoping that past this first episode they have time to develop the characters a bit, but I don't have a lot of faith.  So, I'll leave it up to you whether or not you want to try this out.  We're probably going to end up with a cancelled show and a bunch of unanswered questions. Against my better judgement, I'm gonna give it another couple of episodes before I give up on it.  Don't say I didn't warn you though.