Monday, May 6, 2013

Doctor Who - "The Crimson Horror" Review


Doctor Who is my Jam. I love this show. Which usually puts me in these blinders and a bias about it in general. But something started to form last season. Something I couldn't talk about because Whovians would  throw a shit fit. Well, here we go. I do not like how Steven Moffat writes. Blasphemy, I know. It's like he doesn't know who to follow in the show. Episodes where the Doctor has been away for 100 years, or that Amy and Rory have been gone 5 years are maddening. Remember when Russell T Davis was the lead writer and the stories would connect? You always saw where the Doctor was next. He would step into the Tardis and the adventure would continue from there. Not years later. As well as, Moffat write as if the last 50 years of Doctor Who didn't happen, and ignores everything in the past... eh, that's a cheap shot, because he does make little nods. Ok, so he brought River Song with, but her story is weak as hell. I felt we should have had at least one god damned episode where she was the companion. Another thing about that episode, Spoilers Ahead!


When Amy and Rory get blinked into the past... Such bullshit. It was so anticlimactic. He should have had the balls to kill them off. That scene when they fell off the building was SO heartbreaking and romantic, but he immediately pisses on it with that shit ending. Ugh, Moffat. And at times, when he could drag something out, he doesn't. Like in The Power of Three episode, he could have stretched that over like half a season but he does one whole year in one episode. Also, How could Clara read that Time War Book in Journey to the Center of the Tardis? I thought the Tardis couldn't translate ancient Gallifreyan? 

Anyway, on to the episode.

The Crimson Horror. It takes us back to 1893 London with Madame Vastra, Jenny, and Strax again. Only this time not as charming or funny I felt. They are brought an Optogram (an image in the retina of the eye of a dead person) and told the idea it could have been scared into them. The image is of The Doctor. It takes 15 minutes before we see the Doctor. It's an interesting twist of the Doctor needing saved first, but I felt like this was just raising more questions. Your left to assume the Doctor is there to find out more about Clara and what her deal is but it never pays off.

This one is about a cult, it happens a lot, a crazy cult trying to destroy the world, being led by a cold old women. Sweetville is trying to preserve perfect people to survive the apocalypse. The Doctor gets turned  red, near statue like because he isn't human. He was saved by a blind girl who calls him "My Monster" and that's when Jenny finds him. Vastra finds out that Sweetville is using the venom of a prehistoric red leech thingy. The Doctor and Clara confront the leader old women and her parasite just as she is launching a rocket to kill people or something. Look, I was bored. Let's speed through this. Vastra took the red goo out of the rocket before it launched, Strax shoots the old lady and she falls to her death, The blind chick is a good guy cuz she was experimented on, and the rocket blows up and everyone is fine. Oh and the red parasite gets stepped on and killed by blind chick.

I just didn't care this whole episode. It was slow, not suspenseful or scary or anything. And they never reveal  or even talk about why the Doctor took Clara to that time. And when Jenny and Vastra ask why Clara is not dead he just plays it off. Like they are in a hurry to leave. You have a time machine. What's your rush Doctor? Weren't you there to do something? Slow your roll. In the end, Clara is dropped off  to continue being a nanny and she finds the laptop on with pictures of her from the past. And the kids are asking if she is a time traveler. Then she gets to a picture of her that she doesn't recognize and she reveals that she is a time traveler to them. Wait... how did those kids find those pictures? Were they her's? Did they google Clara and find secrete Russian images online? Explain!  Eh. So many questions.

The rating to this is 2 stars. That is compared to all the other Doctor Who episodes. Compared to regular shows that suck, it would be 3, maybe 3 in a half. Below is the trailer for the episode, but if you're a Whovian, you've seen it. Til next time.

No comments:

Post a Comment