Kick-Ass 2 Review Podcast

The guys went to see Kick-Ass 2. Come listen as we try a new format and discuss why Kick-Ass 2 is a successful sequel.

Episode 27 - Kick-Ass 2
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Movie of the Week: Dawn of the Dead

So first things first. I know I'm not breaking any new ground by praising this movie and saying it's a great four star movie. But I think that some people tend to forget just how great this movie is, and how much it did to inspire other people to make "zombie" movies. Now this film is clearly dated, but I'm okay with that. Yes the Zombies in this film look goofy, but you have to remember that the previous film in the series was in black and white, so at the time there was no real established look for Zombies in color. So with all of that being said, lets take a look at the original Dawn of the Dead...shall we?

For me, this is just one of the many movies I saw as a kid that inspired my love for the horror genre. That might also explain why my mind is so fucked up, but that's a conversation for another day. Think about this, if it wasn't for Night of the Living Dead, and more so Dawn of the Dead, there wouldn't be a Zombie sub genre. Although with all of the overflow of Zombie related shit that comes out these days, I don't know if that's a blessing or a curse. The Walking Dead should be on it's knees sucking this film's dick on a daily basis.

This film just has so much to offer. There's an emotional connection with the characters in this film. Some you love and want to survive, and others you hate and just hope to Allah that the fuckers get what's coming to them. There's also a hell of a lot of suspense in this movie. Plenty of awesome Zombie deaths, and a shit load of blood. So if you're into all of that shit...well you've probably already seen this...so never mind. But if you haven't, do yourself a favor and give this a look. It's fantastic.

With all of that being said, I guess I should end this by saying that I absolutely adore this film. George A. Romero WAS a fucking genius. I say was because...well...he's made quite a heaping handful of shit in the past 15 years or so. Instead of dwelling on all of that, I just sit back and enjoy in my opinion his masterpiece. I love you, Dawn of the Dead.

Movie of the Week: The Jerk

"An idiotic man struggles to make it on his own in St. Louis."IMDb

This Jerk is one of those movies that I'd always heard about, but I'd never gotten around to watching myself.  Well the other night, I'm trying to find something to watch, and my pizza is getting cold.  I'm scrolling and scrolling through on On Demand menu well I come across The Jerk.  I see the tagline, "He was raised a poor black child..." and I'm like, "Sold!"  Just that idea alone gave me somewhat of an insight into what this movie is gonna be like, and I wanted to see where it goes.  So I did...it was ok.

The plot of this movie is very basic.  It's honestly a rags to riches story.  But instead of an endearing character that the audience can really identify with...he's just an idiot.  Now in a raucous comedy like this, it doesn't really matter that we identify with the character.  We just know he's an idiot, and we're gonna sit here for an hour and a half watching as much funny idiotic stuff that they can shove into our faces as possible.  It's just that kind of movie.  However I'd like to point out that it is possible to both identify with a character, and have the comedy being shoved in your face part as well.  Pretty much take any one of Jim Carrey's comedies (other than the Ace Ventura Movies, or Cable Guy...Ok, so I pretty much mean just Liar Liar, Bruce Almighty, and Yes Man).  Those movies have a main character you care about, and the movie is also full of hilarious slapstick.  We can have both!  But I digress...

This movie just didn't knock it out of the part for me as far as what I'll call, "bringing the funny."  And it's not because of the movies age I don't think because there are plenty of movies that are older and hilarious.  I just don't think this movie could make up it's mind on what it wanted to be.  It's clearly a farce, but not to the extremes of say Airplane.  Then again, Airplane was technically a spoof of the movie Airport so I guess it's unfair to compare the two...along with all the Mel Brooks films I was just gonna mention, but now can't...damn.  I don't know really how to describe why I didn't think this movie worked as well as a full on spoof.  They left it somewhere in the middle between having a character you care about, and not giving a shit because everything is just ridiculous.  Maybe I just don't dig on Steve Martin's style...But then again, I loved Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, which is a movie with characters you can identify with, but also has a scene where Steve Martin is wearing an eye patch and then wet's himself at the dinner table...So I dunno.  Maybe there just wasn't enough comedy to fill out the length of the movie, cause the trailer looks hilarious!  You've stumped me movie.  Good job.  2 stars. 

Wait!  Blazing Saddles!  Not a spoof...characters you root for and care about...total zany farce!  Boom!  Take that Jerk!

The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie Review

SpongeBob is one of my favorite cartoons of all time. There. I said it. I know I should be "too old" to love this show as much as I do...but fuck that, I love it. I know the show has really dipped in quality over the past, you know, 5+ years or so, but I don't watch the new episodes, so I don't really give a shit. I mean, look at The Simpsons. That show has over stayed its welcome for quite a while now, but I will forever love that show. With all that wumbo jumbo (see what I did there? Oh, you don't like SpongeBob? Nevermind.) out of the way, it's time for me to start talking about this movie.

This movie came out in 2004, so I was 14 at the time. To say I was the perfect age for this movie at the time would be very accurate. Though I still love the shit out of this movie, I'd say my 14 year old self probably loved it more. Not only is this a heart warming movie, it's also completely bizarre and fucking hilarious. I'd imagine watching this movie stoned out of your mind would be quite the experience. Did I also mention that Scarlett Johansson provides her voice in this movie? Oh wait, that doesn't matter...because you don't get to see her being all hot and stuff. Moving on.

Fuck it, here she is being hot.

Another thing that is great about this movie (not to mention the show) is the great songs in it. The fact that this movie ends with SpongeBob saving the day with Rock and Roll is fantastic. Oh yeah, SpongeBob also gets drunk from eating way too much Ice Cream, seriously....it's hilarious.

See? He's wasted.

The whole point of this movie is that nobody believes in SpongeBob because he's a kid (Is he really? I have no idea how old he is.) But he and Patrick end up saving the day. It's so simple, and yet it works so well. You'd be an ass hole to just assume because it's a cartoon that you're going to hate this right off the bat. (I'm looking at you, Dan.) Trust me, if you give this movie a shot, you're going to love it as much as I do. With all of that being said, I'll leave you with a picture of Patrick in fishnets.

I can't really explain this one.

Movie of the Week: Traces of a Dragon: Jackie Chan & His Lost Family

So something I don't normally talk about, my love for kung fu movies. I get great enjoyment out of them, and there are quite a few action stars that I watch. Jackie Chan is one of the first for me. I'd seen his movies before, but it wasn't until I saw Rumble In The Bronx on the big screen that I really came to under just how awesome Jackie Chan was. And that wasn't his best work, I came to find that later. My friend Eric and I would watch these great kung fu movies and  it was the best of times. 

Now I say this to point out my own naivete when it can to Asian culture and lack of knowledge in the subject of a kung fu movie. I've been watching collections of great stars, trying to enjoy them with subtitles and not badly dubbed. Jackie Chan's weren't as bad because he spoke English and dubbed most of his works. Now I've come accustom to both formats and don't mind either. Years ago, I would have hated this documentary.

Ugh, I have to read!?

So I saw this documentary was added to Netflix and saw Jackie Chan's name. I read the info about was intrigued. It wasn't about Jackie's rise or his childhood per se. It was about him finally learning about his parents past and that he had four siblings he didn't know; as well as a different sir name. It's an emotional ride as you learn the super rough time his dad had growing up and trying to make it in war torn China. You learn with Jackie about his dad's past, and his brothers from another mother. Then you hear the tale of his mother who had it equally tough and find out about Jackie's two sisters from another father. Both stories are heart wrenching, and tragic tales of just how hard it was growing up, raising a family, and the painful choices one makes for family in those times.

Jackie's Dad is a badass.

Not at all what I was excepting from this documentary, but it was amazing. I love learning about the past history of other countries. My ignorance to what the rest of the world has or is going through gets cleared up a little more with just taking the time to listen and understand why things happen. I really recommend this, you should check it out. 3 out of 5.

Monday Review: Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

This is where I usually put a star rating...Don't worry about it.

This is where I usually put what IMDb had to say, but apparently not even they had anything to say so there was just a paragraph from TLC that I don't feel the need to put here.

So...yeah, this is happening.

I know I'm a little late to the party here, but I just want to take a few moments to give you my thoughts on the travesty that is Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.  So, the other day, I'm sitting with my mother and she's got either HGTV or something on, and I didn't want to watch anymore Love It or List It (which in my opinion should be called "Dwell In It or Sellin' It?!" It has a nice ring to it...what was I talking about?  Oh fuck, Honey Boo Boo)  I'm scrolling through the channel guide and I guess we pass TLC and Honey Boo Boo is on...and I of course keep scrolling, cause why would I want to subject myself to that.  But my mom is like, "HA! Honey Boo Boo is on, have you ever seen any of that?"  and I'm like, "No, why would I want to subject myself to that?"  Anyway, she insisted that every person should take a look at that show at least once, if for no other purpose than it's a cautionary tale about why no one should ever go to Georgia.  So I cave and turn it on.  After 30 seconds I want to wash my eyes out with bleach...

...and after about the 3rd hour straight of watching the show, I still didn't know why everyone likes the show, but then why the hell have I been watching the show for 3 hours?! (I am not kidding in the least, I literally sat there and watched like 6 episodes of Honey Boo Boo.  FML)  If I had to compare the show to something, I guess it's like looking at crime scene photos from a brutal homicide or something.  I mean, everyone's all messed up, and you really shouldn't be looking at it, but at the same time you're just morbidly curious.  You just stare and try and make sense of the horror, and you can't seem to look away (or stop masturbating...I'm kidding)...

...

So, to sum up, I want to compare this crap to one other thing: Crystal Meth.  Now another show I've made that comparison about is the incredible Breaking Bad.  But where Breaking Bad would be like Blue Sky 99.1% purity methamphetamine, Honey Boo Boo would be somewhere around like 63% biker crank.  Both of these substances would be considered highly addictive, but clearly there is a difference in quality, and one of them is probably a lot worse for you in the grand scheme.  So there ya go...

Let us never speak of this again.

 

Movie of the Week: Friday

I love this movie. There, I said it. Friday is just one of those movies that when it's on, I HAVE to watch it, even if it's just for a few minutes. I can't really explain it...this movie just has some sort of sick fucking attachment to my heart. You have Chris Tucker before he was making way too many Rush Hour movies, and Ice Cube before he became a "Family" movie "star". There's also that chick from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in this movie...she's famous, right? 

This movie also reminds me of the time in 8th grade when one of my friends called our teacher Big Worm...I will love that kid forever. This is actually kind of a difficult movie for me to write about. I know it's not what you would consider a great film, but I just love it so damn much. It makes me so sad that Chris Tucker moved on and they made 2 mediocre sequels with Mike Epps. Sigh.

Any how, if you're one of the three people in this world that have yet to watch this movie, do yourself a favor and watch it. You won't be disappointed. :D

Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox Review

I love the DC animated universe stuff. Taking great books and making pretty good animated movies based on it. From what I read, they stay as close as they can to the source material but I'm not that big into all the comics. My problem is I can't just start in the middle of a story, I like to see the beginning and grow with it. Sure I could buy the trades and get caught up but I'm not made of money, so I just haven't done that yet. With the cartoons, I could get the basic back story, get to know the hero, who they are, who their villains are, and get an idea of what I should expect. There, now you know my history with the DC Universe. I watched the 90's Batman and Superman Animated Series, and the Justice League/Unlimited that followed. With that, I feel I know the characters well enough. Crucify me if you want, fanboys, but I don't have all the time in the world to read everything I missed.

 You think Flashpoint Bats reads the Red Eye?

Flash is one of my favorite DC Heroes, after Bats and Supes of course. So when I saw the trailer for this, I was excited. But to tell you how little I knew of the Flash's books, I thought this was going to be the reverse origin story. The one were Flash goes back in time and becomes the bolt of lighting that turned Berry Allen into the Flash in the first place. I was wrong, this was much better. Showing alternate realities changed by one event. Showing what would happen if Berry Allen never became Flash, if Bruce Wayne was shot and Thomas Wayne lived, if Superman crash landed in Metropolis and not Smallville, if the Hal Jordan never got the power ring, and so on. A wonderful "what if" story.

"I should have my own movie."

The acting is phenomenal in this, but I didn't recognize anyone. Kevin Conroy as Batman, sure. As well as Nathan Fillion was Green Lantern but he was barely in this. Oh and like one line from Ron Perlman as Deathstroke. Other then them, no one else popped out at me, and looking at the IMDB didn't reveal much else either. That takes nothing away from this film, it is still a ton of fun and awesome to see what hero or villain is gonna show up next. So if you want a fun action packed film with a little mystery and a different take on your favorite heroes, check this one out!

The Wolverine Review Podcast

We sit down and talk about The Wolverine. Was it X-men 2 good or Wolverine Origins bad? I don't know man, you'll have to listen to find that shit out.

Episode 26 - The Wolverine