The Last Stand Review Podcast

Arnold Schwarzenegger is The Last Stand... wait. That doesn't make sense. Meh, whatever. It's Arnold triumphant return to cinemas everywhere! Does he still have what it takes? Will you be entertained? Tune in and find out what we thought of this movie.

Episode 23 - The Last Stand
 

Under the Dome Premiere Review

Wow, I've been writing a lot of stuff for us lately. Then again, I've had quite a few things I've wanted to talk about, so it has kind of just worked out perfectly for me. I'll start this off by saying that I'm a HUGE Stephen King fan. I've seen most of the miniseries and movies based on his work, and I've read a shit load of his books. He's probably one of, if not my favorite author of all time. (Very original of me, I know.) So seeing a commercial for this series a couple of weeks ago, I got kind of excited and kind of a "I'll wait and see" kind of feeling. After seeing Bag of Bones, I couldn't get my hopes too high for another miniseries/show based on his work.

With all of that being said, lets get into this shit. I'll just go ahead and say it...I really enjoyed the premiere of Under the Dome. Well, I did give it 4 stars...so if you aren't blind (sorry if you are) you would see that I thought this was pretty damn stellar. I mean, it has Hank from Breaking Bad in it, how could I NOT like it?! The plot is pretty simple, an invisible dome covers a small town in the good old USA. But there's quite a bit more going on in this, but the episodes clearly focuses more on the utter shock of the people realizing what the fuck is happening. We don't know how or why this happened, but shit just got real.

There's also quite a few of those actors that you'll be like "HEY, I KNOW HIM/HER FROM SOMETHING!" Kind of like Hank from Breaking Bad for me. :D There has obviously only been one episode, so I don't have too much to really judge at this point, but I have pretty decent hopes that this will end up being pretty damn great. It seriously can't be worse than Bag of Bones...that was reaaaaaaaaally not so good. What the fuck were they even thinking?!?!?!

Now I'd like to point out a theme that seems to be happening these days. There are now a bunch of horror/thriller/put genre that fits with these two here kinda shows coming out or that are already out these days. Bates Motel, Hannibal, Under the Dome, and soon to be Sleepy Hollow. So far I have not been let down. But I get a feeling even more of these kind of shows will come out...and it may really water down the whole thing. I hope I'm wrong, but I'll live with Hannibal and Bates Motel...and hopefully I can say the same for Under the Dome when things are all said and done. I just don't want to be force fed shit because these shows have been successful.

But to wrap this thing up, I'd say this is really worth a look. It breezed by for me, so I'd imagine you could take the time to check this out. If it's not for you, great. But if you end up liking it, I'd say you're smarter than the person who didn't like it. Just throwing that one out there. It airs on CBS...so basically any person who has a TV can check it out. Do you have a TV? No?! Well how are you reading this if you don't even have the money to buy a TV? Get your priorities in order, jackass.

This Is The End Review

I'm going to start this off by saying, I ended up seeing this movie a couple of weeks ago with two OTHER people. DUN DUN DUN! Dan and Josh haven't seen this yet, and with all the other movies we still need to see this summer, I figured I'd just write a nice little review for this movie. With all of that being said, lets get this shit under way.

After seeing trailers for this movie, I pretty much decided that this was going to be a must see for me. It looked like the most entertaining movie coming out in a long ass time, and boy was I right. This movie is so fucking funny. LIKE REALLY FUCKING FUNNY. It's a movie about a bunch of famous people you know, playing fictional versions of themselves. (One could argue that is basically all Seth Rogen does, but whatever.) Michael Cera is probably the biggest highlight of the first little chunk of the movie. I won't say too much about that, other than it's so much better than the trailer showed.

Another HUUUUUUGE highlight of this movie is Danny McBride. I love him in pretty much everything he does, but he was by far the best part of this movie, at least for me. Especially at a point in the movie when he and James Franco are arguing about a porno magazine. This movie also takes a comedic look at religion and moral values...and shit.So if you're into that kind of stuff, great for you!

I'll just end this quick little review by saying that you should really go see this movie. It deserves any and all praise it has received. It's well worth the trip to a theater, and you won't have to sit through 2 and a half hours of explosions in Man Of Steel! Yaaaaay. This has probably become my second favorite Judd Apatow flick, which is saying quite a lot. So check this shit out!

Man Of Steel Review Podcast

Ok gang, we had issues with recording this one. This is our second attempt, that is why it is late. As well as I had to go out of town for a family reunion so I had no time to edit. But Here It Is Finally! Our thoughts on Man Of Steel, we did have a guest but that audio got chewed up by the gods. Sorry Marc of Unshaven Comics, we'll have you on for the comic movies this year! Promise!

Episode 22 - Man Of Steel

Movie of the Week: A Nightmare on Elm Street

So up until now when I do a movie of the week, I have always suggested a documentary. But I've finally decided to switch things up this week, and suggest one of my all time favorite films. Clearly, I'll be talking about A Nightmare on Elm Street. (By the way, there is a FANTASTIC documentary about the entire series called "Never Sleep Again". If you haven't seen it, check it out.) So I'm going to do my best to explain why I truly love this movie.

First of all, the first time I saw this movie...I was scared absolutely shitless. Even to this day, there are moments that freak me the fuck out. Movies don't really do that to me anymore, but for obvious reasons, this movie does it. This was one of the only movies in this series where Freddy isn't a wise cracking Anti-Hero. He's just a burnt up, scary, child murderer/molester, and a complete mind fuck. He gets his rocks off by building up to the kill.

Now I guess I should explain the "back story". Freddy killed and molested local children. He got caught. For the sake of the movie, he got away with it because some bull shit. The parents were all angry and shit...so they hunted him down and burned him alive. And for reasons not really explained until the 6th fucking movie in the franchise (Don't watch it, it's terrible.), he can now haunt their children's dreams. I guess if you molest and kill children and are then killed by local parents, you end up with special haunt the people who killed you's children's dreams powers...with the ability to kill them in the dream, leading to them dying in real life.

But any how, back to why I love this movie. It's absolutely unique. Freddy isn't just a faceless and silent killer. He's absolutely terrifying. Seriously, look at him. That's fucking scary. Back around the time this movie came out, and pretty much the rest of the 80s for that matter, there was a flood of shitty generic slasher flicks. To me, this is one of the absolute best horror movies...ever. Sure you have some pretty mediocre acting, but you also have Johnny Depp! Yay! I really wish I could have seen his entire death scene. From what I've heard, the idea for the full death was fantastic.

I suppose to wrap this whole thing up, I adore this movie. Great and creative death scenes (especially for the time), a very unique story, and one of, if not THE best horror movie villains of all time. Of course Hollywood had to go ahead and ruin this by making a bunch of really shitty sequels, and a remake....THAT I FUCKING HATE AND WISH IT NEVER HAPPENED...AND FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! But seriously, if you are one of the unfortunate few who has never seen this movie, do yourself a favor and watch this movie. It's an absolute treat.

Jack Reacher Review Podcast

Tom Cruise is JACK REACHER in this non-stop snooze fest with Jack Shit happening in it. So we talk about tranies instead. Give it a listen, see what you think, laugh, love, live, levitate.

Episode 21 - Jack Reacher

Movie Of The Week: Spaceballs

Movie Of The Week is sometimes a tough choice. Not in that I can't think of a movie but that there are way to many to chose from. This week was no exception. So I decided on one I love from my childhood, back when spoof movies were respected, had real comedy in them, and not just pop culture references rushed out to make a quick buck. I'm talking Mel Brooks good. I've seen every one of his movies and I enjoyed them all. This week I was reminded of Spaceballs by a Facebook post from I Fucking Love Science. This picture below.

I immediately thought of the asshole scene. I Fucking love this movie. From beginning to end. It was a much needed spoof on the space movies. But it just wasn't a rip off of a current story, just mangled with currently in jokes. No, it had its own story and it made reference to other films in the genre. They weren't pot shots at the actors who played the roles or current celebrities in the news. They took the time to properly satire a film. Even made you care about there characters at the same time. It can't always be stupid fucking joke after stupid fucking joke. Take time to craft your jokes.

Spaceballs pokes mainly at Star Wars, a little bit of Alien and Star Trek thrown in. It is amazing. If you haven't seen, you must. It's a comedy you can't miss. 4 Stars!

Trailers 2, The Revenge

We talk about the trailers we recently saw. Are any of them good? You can watch what we saw below! Let us know you are excited for and what you think looks bad.

Episode 20 - Trailers Number 2

Game Of Thrones Season 3 Retrospective

Hey, guys and gals! Tonight, we are doing things slightly differently. We are all working together, as a collective unit, since we are all fans of the show and books. (except for Josh, he's dumb.) So since tonight was the Season 3 Finale, we decided to break down the entire season from each of our perspectives.

Bobby: 
So here are my thoughts on this thing. I've read every last one of these damn books. I loved every damn second of it(well...maybe not every second...the 4th book wasn't the greatest.) I've heard quite a few people complain that this season dragged on too much, or that it was boring. To those people I say "QUIT BEING IMPATIENT AND WAIT FOR THE THINGS TO BUILD UP AND BLOW UP IN YOUR FUCKING FACE!" Seriously, it seemed like people were expecting the season premiere to be one big cluster fuck of crazy things to happen. Having read the book and knowing all the crazy things that would end up happening, I was very happy with how the season started off.

As far as things that stood out to me this season, I have a few. First of all, the things that happened with Theon Greyjoy. I think I might be the only person on this planet who actually feels awful for Theon. The people I have spoken to about this all had the same reaction "He's a douche." Yep, a douche who no longer has a penis...I am really happy they decided to not write Theon off until they got to the 5th book, because those chapters were by far some of my favorites, while also being extremely hard to read. (That shit is fucked up!) I'm also a big fan of Iwan Rheon from his time of Misfits, and he plays Ramsay perfectly. He's a psycho, who enjoys hunting other humans and torturing them. Seeing all the things he did to Theon leading up to him becoming "Reek" is really interesting, while being hard to watch at times.

Arya has also been a highlight of this season for me. Her interactions with the Hound have been fantastic. He's a complete and utter piece of shit, and she lets him know about it. She also came so close to being reunited with her family, only for it to be ripped away from her. I suppose that leads to me talking about The Red Wedding. Though it was really well done, there were some things I could have done with out. For example, Robb's pregnant wife being stabbed over and over again in the stomach....yeah, didn't care for that much. This also lead to a scene in the finale that I really wanted to see, which was Robb having Grey Wind's head where his used to be. That was really fucked up, but great at the same time.

I suppose I can wrap it up by saying that the finale was pretty much what I expected it to be. Kind of like season 2, it was more of a "calm down and prepare yourself for next season" kind of episode. I wouldn't really expect them to do anything crazy after the pretty much blew everyone's minds last week. It wasn't anything special, but I enjoyed it for what it was. If season 4 ends up anything like I expect it to, I'm prepared to shit myself.

Dan: 
So, I don't know what that jackass was saying up there, but he's probably wrong about everything.  Unless he's agreeing with whatever I'm about to say about the show, in which case, then it was probably fine.   Anyway, what to say about Season 3? Well, I guess the best way to start would be to say that I did in fact enjoy it.  I don't want to nitpick about every little thing, even though that's pretty much all I ever do. I understand that the book and the show are going to vary from each other in places due to certain constraints and creative...whatever. What I will do though is take a moment to bitch about the things that happened during the season that differed from the book which just kinda stood out to me as useless, distracting, or wholly unnecessary.  First of all, I don't understand why we have the character Ros.  She is a character that doesn't exist in the book, yet she's been around since season 1. I don't know what purpose she serves (other than T&A...and don't get me wrong, that's nice, but she doesn't even do that anymore!) that they couldn't have given to a number of other characters, or, just had whoever did whatever she does in the book...do it.  You get what I mean! Then, out of no where, just in another way to show us that Joffrey is a lunatic (cause I guess we don't get that yet), she is murdered to death with a fucking crossbow.  If she really doesn't do anything, and then you can kill her off, and nothing really changes, then what was the point of her character in the first place!?

Also, what's with the "Podrick Payne is a sex god" shit? That's not in the book. What is it doing there? It does not further the plot in any way.  It's just used as a way to add a bit of humor to a show where everyone gets their throat slit at some point, I guess? But I'm sure there are other ways of doing that other than completely inventing a scenario that takes up at least 3 minutes of the episode. Granted, we got some titties out of it, which is always welcome, but I just don't get the writers' choice for this situation. They even keep bringing it up too, in various episodes! Come on! Stop wasting my time!

One other thing that really stood out to me was something that happened in the penultimate episode "Rains of Castamere." First of all, Jayne Westerling (or Talisa Meagyr for some fucking reason. Robb's wife) is present for Edmure's wedding.  In the book, they leave her ass somewhere else, for many good reasons. They didn't want to piss off Walder Frey by bringing Robb's new wife when he was supposed to be marrying one of the Frey daughters...which he didn't...ya know, the biggest fucking mistake ever as it turns out? Anyway, they have a scene where Walder Frey is further established as a creepy old man, (cause I guess we don't get that yet) and he talks about what she probably looks like naked and stuff.  Whatever. Oh, she's pregnant too, which is not in the book either, but they did it for one reason.  At the Red Wedding, they go out of their way to show you that she has a baby bump and everything, right before they stab her in the baby a bunch of times! They only had her there, and pregnant, to make an already brutal scene, even more the fuck brutal. I just really don't think it was necessary. I hope her character didn't have anything important to do later in the books, cause it's gonna be harder now.

Also, Shae is way different and I don't know where they're going with it...*shrug*

The reason I get so frustrated when they add shit that doesn't need to be there, is because so much of the time, there's cool shit that they could have put in it's place...stuff they've usually left out for reasons unbeknownst to me. Where's the cool ass magic tree door thingy at the bottom of the well at the Nightfort?!...and uh....ummm...I can't really think of anything else right now, which kinda speaks well of the show and that they are doing a pretty good job so, yeah. 4 stars.

Josh: 
I'm going to make the argument that watching Game of Thrones without having read the books is a better experience than having read the books first and then watching it. It's as if you are spoiling the show for yourself by reading ahead. Also, with certain characters having POV or their own chapters (or not) you know who a key player is and therefore less likely to be killed off, as with the Red Wedding recently happening. "Less likely to be killed" even if it is only fraction of a chance. Or it could be that I'm annoyed with everyone who has read the book always saying the same thing, it gets better or crazier. I really don't need the motivation to continue watching it without you talking about how you know what's going to happen. It is as if I am seeing a movie with someone who's seen it before, but won't stop telling me about the good part coming up. I'd like to formulate my own opinions, thank you.

Having said that, my friends (the two mooks I do a movie reviewing podcast with that shall remain nameless) kind of ruined this season for me. As well as the creators of the show. Everywhere I turned was someone else telling how amazing season three would be because of how awesome the books were. Out of 9 episode I had seen, two big things happened. Daenerys getting her army, and the Red Wedding. Those were epic. I saw the Daenerys story coming, but the Red Wedding, no. No idea they would ALL die. It seemed everyone was blown away by this. Not me, I was relieved if I'm to be honest.

Season 3 felt bloated with far to many stories to tell. Each episode seemed to spend 5 minutes on everyone at one time and 10 on this weeks star character. Rotating out with every new episode. There were some good moments aside from the two I already mentioned. Jaime losing his hand, Bran learning his powers, Ayra now with The Hound, Theon's torture and cock removal, Jon Snow saw a giant, and a handful of other stuff.  Oh and weddings. This season should have just been called Game of Weddings. Everyone got married, and no one was happy about it. Now I know I'm missing a lot but I'm not here to tell you what you've already seen. Even with so much ground to cover, the show was still captivating and fun to watch unfold. Faster-paced with more events happening and even more people dying. On to the season finale.

"Mhysa" begins with Ayra's escape from the massacre of her family, and on to the word of Robb's death to King's Landing. This episode caught you up on everyone, with some finally reaching their long time goals. Jaime returns to his sister, Bran made it north, Sam got the message back to Castle Black, and Jon Snow finally took an arrow to the knee. The rest of the show was setting it up for season 4. Theon's sister is going to avenge his cock removal, Ayra finally killed a man, Gendry is set free, Stannis and Melisandre learn of the white walkers, and Daenerys gets more freed slaves on her side. That is all well and good but this did not feel like a season finale. There was no cliffhanger aside from the looming doom that we've felt since early on in the season. Again I felt disappointment as the build up didn't pay off, much like with The Walking Dead season finale. Most of the blame for this falls on everyone singing praises for how amaz-balls season 3 would be but when it turned out to be at the same level as the rest of the seasons, I couldn't help but feel let down.

That is not to say it was bad, far from it. This show is great, I love the suspense, the action, the humor, and the knife twisting as your favorite characters get fucked over, over and over again. It's sadistic and I revel in every minute of it but would you all stop build it up like it is bigger and better than it really is. Our imaginations will never meet the reality. So if you'd allow me to experience it without the constant noise of "BOOKS! BOOKS GOOD! SHOW GONNA HAVE BOOK GOOD!" drowning out the actual enjoyment I receive in the show without someone playing it up at every turn, I would appreciate it. Over all, season 3 was great, a little unsatisfied with the finale and how lackluster it was in the end. For the season, 4 stars. The finale, 3 stars.

After Earth Video Review

 

Big Post Right Here! First, check it out! It's our first video review. This is our proof of concept for our Kickstarter, to show why you should help us out. Let us know what you think! and second, extended podcast for the same review. We dive deeper into the movie and ask the questions no one else would ask. Join us and celebrate our first video release! Please share.

Episode 19 - After Earth

After Earth Video Review

Movie of the Week: The Notebook

"A poor and passionate young man falls in love with a rich young woman and givers her a sense of freedom.  They soon are separated by their social differences." IMDb

In my opinion there are two ways to enjoy this movie.  I will start with the more traditional way. 

Number 1: This way assumes that you are a typical, healthy minded person who can appreciate the heart behind this story.  It is kind of a classic tale that we've heard before.  Two young people from different social classes fall in love, but are torn apart because of circumstance and societal pressures.  They grow up to be different people, but in the end find each other again and realize that love concurs all.  It's a bit like Titanic without that whole disaster thing, or better yet, Aladdin without a genie are anything.  This movie is slightly different because the story is sort of, in a way, told twice because it's being told in flashbacks.  The present is an old man reading the flashback story to an old woman with dementia. We find out along the way that the old man and woman are actually the two characters in the flashbacks.  He reads her the same story every day in hopes that, just like in the flashback story, the circumstances will be mended and she will come back to him once again.  In the end, she does remember who he is and how much they love each other and they end up passing away in each others arms.  Awwww, how touching.

Number 2: In order to enjoy the movie in this way, a couple of other things might have to be in place, or rather out of place in your own life.  I learned to enjoy The Notebook in this fashion in college.  Let me set the stage for you.  I had been going through what we'll call relationship issues, and I had been doing a fair bit of drinking.  Now, my college had a movie channel that would replay the same line-up of movies every day at the same time of day for a month.  At this particular time, the network happened to be playing The Notebook every day at around 2 pm, which would be right around the time I would wake up from the bender I had been on the night before.  For lack of anything better or more constructive to do, I would put on this movie and enjoy it very much.  Here is why. When viewed from a bitter, angry, dead inside type state of being, the movie can be summed up rather quickly: Two attractive people who are supposed to be in love with each other spend most of their time on screen arguing, fighting, in misery, confused, or in pain.  Then at the end, they fucking die.  Good!

Either way, solid 3 stars.

Why I love South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Well I might as well say this right off the bat. I love South Park. It's probably one of, if not my favorite cartoon of all time. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are both comedic geniuses. I've been watching this show since it first came out, making me about 7 at the time. (Yeah, my parents were pretty terrible. <3) So when I first heard about this movie...I was so happy.

When I first saw this movie, I was still a little kid. Most of the jokes in the movie went WAAAAAY over my head. For example, Stan trying to find out where the clitoris is. Yeah, no normal 9 year old is going to know what the fuck that means. Yet, I still loved this movie to death. Maybe because as a kid, a movie full of songs is just something I would just love. Throw in South Park characters, and little kid me was in love.

Now later on in life when I was old enough to understand this movie, I REALLY REALLY REALLY loved this movie. I kinda knew what a clitoris is, the fact that this movie is making fun of the show and all the shit they deal with, and all of the other crazy adult humor. There is just something about this movie that makes me able to watch it at any time and not grow tired of it. I actually went to bed with this movie on last night!

The songs they wrote for this movie are not only great, but so damn memorable. Besides the fact that once you hear one of them, it's going to get stuck in your head. Plus...Metallica shows up when Kenny goes to hell and parody themselves...so fucking good. From start to finish, the songs in this movie are seriously fantastic.

They eventually did a 2 episode "sequel" to the movie in season 4, introducing Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis. A solid follow up to the movie, if you ask me. I would suggest this movie to people...but seriously?! If you haven't ever seen this movie, what the fuck are you doing with your life? Why are you even reading this? You're dumb, go away.